Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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