You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
