Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
