What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
