I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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