tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
