Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
