we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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