hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
