I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
