Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
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he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
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we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Can you bring me the toilet please
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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