So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
