Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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