Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
