He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
