I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
