Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
