The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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