she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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