Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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