This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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