sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
