We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I am midnight drunk by noon
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
