dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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