He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
