don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
