4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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