i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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