and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
