non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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