Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I have tasted many bathrooms
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
