I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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