Me too!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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