I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
