I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
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no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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