just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
