We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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