I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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