question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
A bitchslap is in order.
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