Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
