Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm always down for nudity.
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