My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
