Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
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