I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
