Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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