Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
