I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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