I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
