If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize