I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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