Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
