grandma shit on top of the toilet
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize