Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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