the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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