Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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