is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize