my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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