i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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