Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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