im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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