god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
