Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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